Fancy Furniture is not for Fat Bums

On holiday in Majorca recently, I had the pleasure of staying at a very nice resort. However, HOWEVER, the lovely resort, did not think through their rather fancy and expensive terrace furniture (we couldn’t help but Google them!). There were these really weird sofas and chairs, that looked like stones. Could I get my fat bum to sit comfortably on these bastards? Could I FUCK!!!! The sofa was about bareable, but the single chairs either rendered me practically half laying in a pose that would have a drunk hobo blushing, or sitting so upright, I looked like a mannequin. I thought I’d share these bizarre torture contraptions with you.

The stools were also another source of delight. Tall, tiny topped, thin things which my tiny little legs couldn’t reach , so on my first night of trying to thrust my chubby bum on to this platform of doom, I managed to pull the entire table and thustly my wine over. My entrance was spectacular to say the least. So the verdict is… me + classy furniture = not so classy!!!

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