Best Laid Plans

As I came away for my lovely holiday to Majorca, to get away from a house in disarray and the last lingering memories of being at school, before I start my new job, I packed several activities. A few books, that I’d been saving (“The Power” … Highly recommended, a thriller and a couple of BoPo non-fiction types), my sketchbook, to start illustrations for my kids story and my art collaboration and a list of ideas for a blog post or 6. I had everything sort of planned out, finish one book, the one I’d started, which I wasn’t massively enjoying, but I wanted to see it through to the end. Then Friday, I was going to atone for my blog tardiness by getting my write-on. I was pumped, I’m surrounded by all these bikini bodies, a veritable smorgasbord of delights to write about; the confidence, the styles, the myriad of cute swim wear choices I’d brought with me and the absolute no-fucks-given vibe. But nope, it would appear that one of my dietary choices would scupper my plans absolutely! I’m trying, despite being on an all inclusive holiday, a thing called ‘Intuitive Eating’/, listening to my body and giving her what she wants. Now, my mum gave me a valuable bit of advice for being on an all inclusive holiday. She said “the key to not getting bored with the food, is to not load your plate with ALL the food, but to scout it out, and pick a meal”. Now this fitted right in with the whole “intuitive eating” thing. I perused the food, and decided I needed all the salad and perhaps some meat, wait, no those langoustines look tasty, healthy and fresh… Yep, I’ll go with those. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. I didn’t know it but I was a ticking time bomb.

So later that night we attended the ‘White Party’ by the pool and indulged in a few rums whilst getting accosted by awesome ladies on stilts. All fine, a little too much indulgence, but a bit of fire poi and some contortionist acts later and we merrily go off to bed.

The next morning, it must have been instinct, but Husbandface left me to sleep. Then it hit, the langoustine’s revenge! I thought it was just all the over indulgence, but that was me for the day. Sick as a dog and confined to my hotel room. I couldn’t settle, I couldn’t concentrate for more than three seconds, so reading or writing was out of the question, so I was stuck with cat videos on Facebook and Fake Britain on ITV, because, god forbid the Brits go abroad without English telly!

I can’t remember the last time I felt like it, I was feeling so sorry for myself. Luckily the weather gods decided that this would be the day it would rain, so I only missed out on a wee bit of actual holidaying….and my body has now returned to normal. I’m laying here on my sunbed as I type, awaiting the time until it’s considered a respectable time to start drinking. Probably about 10am?

I shall continue to take shameless selfies, plot to take over the world from my phone, and maybe squeeze in another post or two, to make up for my absence! Until then I bid you “adieu!”

By the way, did I tell you…? Even the best laid plans can get ballsed up, and do you know what?, that’s ok! I’m now back to living my best life again.

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